Like I'm Made of Glass
I'm struggling to write. Everything I consider, every topic, every thought is too intensely personal for me to share here. My blog keeps me in touch with my friends and family but I am all too aware that there are people who follow my blog out of spite, too. Despicable people. Vindictive people. Petty, hateful people. I find it hard to write when the fact that they're lurking is too much in the front of my mind.
I told a friend the other day that I feel like I am made of glass right now. Fragile. Transparent. Vulnerable. I hesitate to say even that much because I don't trust that there aren't people out there who would break me just for the fun of it. Sneering, mocking princes of the internet... how I hate them. I may return to my pen and paper journal for a while if this block continues; it's been years since I've done my writing long-hand into a book.
Instead of writing, I assuage my anxiety by cleaning, organizing, cooking. Salvation through domestic goddesshood.
I told a friend the other day that I feel like I am made of glass right now. Fragile. Transparent. Vulnerable. I hesitate to say even that much because I don't trust that there aren't people out there who would break me just for the fun of it. Sneering, mocking princes of the internet... how I hate them. I may return to my pen and paper journal for a while if this block continues; it's been years since I've done my writing long-hand into a book.
Instead of writing, I assuage my anxiety by cleaning, organizing, cooking. Salvation through domestic goddesshood.
I highly recommend starting a separate journal for personal issues. I would recommend MySpace only because you have absolute control over who can read your blogs, or even view your profile. You can set it to private, and no one but the chosen can view it. I love it.
Most of my intense ranting about my personal life is on my MySpace blog, and I maintain control over who sees what. No worries that some co-worker will stumble upon it. My regular blog is saltines and water for both my family and anyone who might happen upon it and want to use it against me.
You can even create an alter ego. >:)
Try livejournal, which lets you limit posts to friends only, or to a specific group of friends. I think the new version of Blogger has.. something like that, now.