Discolor Online

Weblog of the sweetest person you never want to piss off.



I know it's not as if ya'll are hanging on my every word here, nonetheless I do feel bad that I've had nothing to say recently. It's not quite a general malaise. I've been caught in the middle of a dozen different stressful situations, some of which I can't talk about and others of which I just don't want to talk about. I've spent about three of the four weeks of March juggling some intense stuff for Green Ronin and functioning as a single parent while Chris has held down the fort at GTS and made other secret trips to undisclosed locations. We've had health issues, family issues, dealing with general idiot issues, it's been endless and for a lot of it I've just been completely helpless. You can't will the flu or a killing headache to go away, make Fed Ex deliver any faster, or squeeze blood from stones no matter how much you may want to. I don't know how the rest of the world handles it when a friend breaks down literally sobbing on your shoulder, but I absorb tension like a sponge and my bedside manner leaves much to be desired.

There are several things in my life that I want to move on from, but I'm being held hostage by circumstances I have no control over. One of the things that happens when I hit a space like this is that I start to exert control over the things that *do* remain under my control... in this case my house: in the last couple of weeks I was able to do a major clean-up and reorganization of our garage, Kate's room, and the kitchen/livingroom. I've been cleaning the house, mowing the lawn and trimming the trees and bushes, handling a bunch of recycling, cooking to beat hell. I've made several batches of homemade chicken stock and have been stocking the freezer with many prep-ahead meals, pre-chopping ingredients like onions and peppers and otherwise keeping my body busy to fool my mind into letting go of useless spin-cycling.

Last night I went to the farewell bash for our friend Stan! Laughed until I cried to see my daughter join the chorus-line for the karaoke rendition of Meatloaf's Paradise By the Dashboard Light and dancing the Time Warp. It was a bag of mixed emotions; happy for a friend getting a paying job, sad and sorry for myself that yet another one of our swell friends is leaving our circle.

I may not have much of interest to contribute for a while until things settle down.


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