Discolor Online

Weblog of the sweetest person you never want to piss off.


Spray-on Condoms?

Or, as Patton Oswalt would say, "Sometimes science is wrong and gives us shit we don't need."

While wolfing down the last of the leftover stuffing from Thanksgiving for my lunch today, I was browsing the SLOG and good ol' Dan Savage had this scientific "breakthrough" to share:

German Invents 'Spray-On' Condom
The system works a bit like a car wash. The man put his penis in a chamber and presses a button to start the jets of liquid latex, sucked from a detachable cartridge. The rubber dries in seconds and is later rolled off and discarded like a conventional condom.

The aim is for the process to take just 10 seconds but at present the latex drying time is around 20 to 25 seconds. "We're working to shorten that time," said Krause.

C'mon guys, who's up for a little shower of cold liquid latex right in the middle of gettin' busy? After all, the inventor brags "With our technology we could spray a condom on an erect elephant." Who couldn't want some of that?



NPR cracks me up

Listening to a show on NPR tonight I heard an interview with Roger Tullgren, the Swedish metal head who has received an official diagnosis of Heavy Metal Addiction and receives government benefits. Because of his disability, he now has a job where his boss allows him to play music at work and take time off to go to rock shows.

Before signing off, the interviewer asked Roger what his favorite heavy metal song was. "My favorite song?" he asked. "Yes, well, if you tell us what it is, we might be able to play it," said the interviewer. "Oh, it would have to be Crazy Train by Ozzy Osbourne. That's my life," he offers.

The interview ends, music begins to play...

Strains of...

JUMP by VAN HALEN, synthesizers blasting away.

Oh yeah. Those two songs are totally interchangeable.

I promptly laughed myself silly and began a coughing fit that didn't settle down for several minutes.