Discolor Online

Weblog of the sweetest person you never want to piss off.


Hot Coffee is Hot

I love coffee. Even as a kid far before I ever drank the stuff I would beg my grandma for her coffee nips and thrilled over coffee flavored ice cream. I like all manner of hot beverages (cider, tea, chai, cocoa!) but coffee is my favorite, hands down.

As a coffee drinker I have acquired a surplus of coffee mugs. I wouldn't say I collect them exactly but I definitely have plenty and that doesn't stop me from occasionally picking up more. It makes me smile to choose from my assortment of mugs when I have my coffee each morning. Among my favorite mugs are my Jesse Ventura ("Minnesota's Governing Body" ha, get that wrestling reference... Jesse "The Body" Ventura?), my Goodbye Blue Monday (and all the memories of Northfield and my time as their substitute barista), and my CAUTION HOT COFFEE IS HOT (do not spill on crotch) mugs.

I'm actually on my second Hot Coffee Is Hot mug. Ages ago I saw Berin Kinsman's original Cafe Press version of this mug and snapped it up immediately. As was the case with many Cafe Press mugs from those early years, the images began to fade from being run through the dishwasher. (That's how my "Oh Jeff-list, how lemony fresh art thou" mug eventually became just a plain white mug, too.) I would have just ordered a new one but the mug had gone away in the meantime. I asked after the mug and lo, a new version was made available and delivered to me! Happy day.

Turns out I was luckier than I thought with this mug! In Googling around for images and links for this blog post, I came across this post at UncleBear.com and discovered that I'm apparently one of the few that has the version of the mug that says "Caution" on it. Seems that some guy names Jim Vitello once upon a time had this idea for scratch-and-sniff underwear and trademarked "Caution!" specifically for use as a trademark for "boxer shorts, boxer briefs, briefs, thongs, lingerie, pajamas, nightshirts, robes and swimwear". Yet somehow this guy was able to use this to demand that Cafe Press remove the coffee mug from Berin's store because it used the word "caution" on it. The mug now says "Careful" instead. (Vitello has also apparently sued Hot Topic and lost a complaint against the owners of caution.com ).

I've always liked my Hot Coffee Is Hot mug. It appeals to my snarky side, the part of me that rolls eyes and grits teeth in the face of human fuckwittery, the voice in my head that says "Gee, brainiac, maybe it's not that the coffee was too hot but that you shouldn't stick a to-go cup between your legs in a moving vehicle?" It's the same side of me that smirks when I read that someone like Jim Vitello is smacked down for his greedy, baseless, overreaching legal actions. It was my snarky side that raised a steaming mug of coffee in the general direction of Covina, CA this morning and proposed a toast: "Caution, Jim Vitello! Hot coffee is hot, do not spill on crotch!"

Mmm, coffee.

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